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Real smile comes from within. :)
Don't frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.


Buongiorno


Buongiorno means Hello! in Italian. Welcome to my land.
I don't know what you can benefit from here but if you don't mind me sharing my own perspectives about life, you are always welcome to leave your footprints here.

As the title per say, I do believe that real smile comes from within. Hence, don't frown because you will never know who's falling in love with your smile.

Smile :-)

bond and protection
Saturday, February 28, 2009

Me went for present hunting today. For my dearest Daddy whose birthday is coming soon and also for my newborn nephew. The special someone don't need to feel sad because I went thousand miles to hunt for your present the other day :)
I got myself a date for the day and I was charged 5 bucks per hour.
Yet in the end of the day, I paid nothing but earned a great company who pampered me with a large San Francisco's Extreme Mocha, a large fries, extra patience, and mass protections. *insert smiley
This date of mine is my lovely brother. I am glad to have him in my life for real. It has been so long since the last time both of us went out together. I can't deny the fact which the both of us have grown so much to the extend that this little brother of mine now is capable of protecting me de.
I remembered the entire moment where both of us were being squeezed inside the bus earlier. Bro had me to grab-hold the build-in holder which is situated at the side of the bus body while he chose to grab the lonely bus' holder right at the center and his back was to me. That's not a sign of ignorance but a sign of love, a sign of protection. I never realize that he is so tall and has such a big broad shoulder. I just feel protected having him to block whoever is in front of me. I don't like to ride on public transports especially during weekends because I got molested by some black foreign workers before. Today's bus ride was entirely different because he blocked those people away from me. If you were to ask me what's happiness to me, this is the answer I will give you. If you were to ask me how could happiness comes from within (Choong, 2009), this is it.
I don't know for how long this kinda protection will continue. Sooner or later, Bro will find his future mate and build his own family. He might not be able to protect me like what he did today. I feel contended though because I already owned this happiness for once in my entire life.

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written @11:51 PM 0 comments


upgrade

It has been so long...
Even Steven's Corner is upgrading themselves...
Soon they are going to launch this Stevens Tea Garden 'Mamak in Times' in Mid Valley.
Will you get their roti canai for 2 bucks over there?
I still like the entire Mamak feel... what about you?
p/s: Steven's Corner is a well known mamak restaurant in Overseas Union Garden, Old Klang Road, KL.

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written @1:55 AM 0 comments


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

This is dedicated to my wonderful and charming dear
Cheam Hui Ying
Happy 21st Birthday

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written @1:28 AM 0 comments


milo kosong

其实 喝杯浓浓的 milo kosong 也没什么不好
没加奶 没加糖 简简单单的也很不错
幸福 其实就那么简单

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written @1:20 AM 0 comments


Monday, February 23, 2009

He learned the word "stoning" today while I learned that "stoning" is a good thing
Stoning is a form of relaxation *smile
Bumped into my marketing lecturer today and we had a coffee drinking session. It's a once in a life time thing I would say :)
Met a girl who admire me so much till I don't know how to explain my feelings towards her. I never know I have so much good in me. She takes the same class as me but I never know that. I ain't observant enough I guess.
Things I want to do this week:
  • have at least 3 nutritious meals a day
  • record my meal
  • replace caffeine with milo/milk after midnight
  • replace exciting workloads (incl. msn chatting) with some relax routines at night
  • do some readings on sleep debts, nutrition and health
Reminder for the self:
  • don't continuously judge and blame the self. For everything that happen, there must be a reason behind. Humanistic humanistic
  • move forward. what happened today remains today, don't bring them forward

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written @10:18 PM 0 comments


what is happiness?
Sunday, February 22, 2009





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written @10:00 PM 0 comments


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I have this friend who mentioned that she is never a first-class bestie to anyone and she don't mind to be a second-class friend. Yet as time goes by, she realize that when people get busy or when there's a need to work in pairs, she is always the one being left out. She is not even worth being a secondary friend to anyone she said. As compare to those who always complain that they don't have any friends and yet not putting any efforts to deal with friendships, I think my friend's situation is way more tolerable.
I might not be your bestie but I don't mind to be a secondary friend for you as well. Without doubt there're times where I will feel lonely, especially when I don't have one to hang around with. Yet I am glad that I do and I am still trying my very best to attend to every of my friends when they need me. I am not trying to say that I am a prefect friend here because there were times that I failed to attend to everyone as well.
We live our life with lotsa "should", "shall", "shall not", "will" etc, aren't we? All these "shoulds" create so much "to be fulfilled" social expectations that if we are going to continue living our life like that we will lose ourselves. No one can force you to become someone you don't want to be because the faith is within you yourself. If you believe in God then of course you will have God beside you all time. Try to spend at least a minute or more with yourself and ask what you want in life. It's not hard to accomplish the "wants" actually.
to be continued...

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written @11:22 PM 0 comments


Thanks for calling
Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"Best of luck, Mun Yee"

written @11:32 PM 0 comments


to do list
Monday, February 16, 2009

Things I should want to do this week:
  • manage my sleeping time
  • eat healthily
  • study for midterm
  • do assignments in college
  • relax
  • have fun

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written @10:05 PM 0 comments


wish list

The Angel side of me just made a wish.
"Mandy stays happy everyday"

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written @12:43 AM 0 comments


美女
Sunday, February 15, 2009

"人家說真正的美女,笑起來的時候會露出八顆上排牙齒"
-取之藤井树《暮水街的三月十一号》第十八篇 *click

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written @7:27 PM 0 comments


听话

如果她听你的
她就不会去接受那看不见未来的爱
如果她听你的
她就不会享受当中的过程
如果她听你的
她就不懂得什么是爱情 什么是愧疚
如果她听你的
她就不会沮丧 也不会自残
如果她听你的
她可会好好地过
可是
如果她听你的
她可会成长吗?
如果她听你的
你和我 他和她
没有如果

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written @2:31 PM 0 comments


给予她的她
Saturday, February 14, 2009

你明了失去的感觉是如何
你知道失而复得的情绪 除了激动
你更懂得什么是珍惜
曾经你是多么的执著于愧疚 执著于自己的决定
而放弃原本属于自己的爱情
你从未原谅自己对他造成的伤害 换来的不仅仅是厌恨 还有奚落
你对他的愧疚 演变成怨恨 沮丧 到后来的麻木
他的出现一再给你带来了压力 也让你受了不少委屈
那一年 你是怎么熬过来 大家有目共睹
可现在的你 怎么又陷下去了呢
用可悲来形容现在忧郁的你 可否太不近人情了呢
天下哪来那么多的忧愁悲伤 世界末日了吗
人与人之间的情感 不是像物体般可以轻易就失而复得的
它可是参杂了许许多多的愫 慢慢累积而成的
你知道爱不可能重来
你知道你和他之间误会的那扇门 可能永远再也打不开
你知道他有多么的不愿再见你
你知道他不断的逃避自己
你更清楚知道 是那悲伤的往事 让你久久振作不起
何苦一直踌躇不决
难道就为了那段往事 久久不能自拔
自己就不能勇往直前吗
你已走到尽头了吗
你那接受爱情的勇气 给鲨鱼吞掉了吗
你那曾经对爱情执著的意志 也给海水淹没了吗
你的坚持 你的信念跑去哪了
为何不断的自暴自弃 为何不断有自残的念头
难道前方已无路可走了吗
失去的 找回了 就好好地珍惜
过去的 挽不回了 就让他离去
当解释再也不能改变什么时
执著是笨蛋的行为 对吧?
情人节快乐

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written @11:37 PM 0 comments


This is more than what I expected it to be
Friday, February 13, 2009

5:41pm - Bro sent me a SMS
Someone found your wallet. everything thing is inside. IC, ATM card, Student ID as well.

8.18pm - from Him
Hi Mun Yee
It's OK. I will be glad to help.
Sorry to hear about your wallet.
Seems like you have some good strategies in dealing with things
I am out of the office today & will be back in the office on Monday & will contact you then
9.08pm - from Sharon dear
hey if you can make it on Tuesday my counseling slot I'm willing to give it to you if you want. I think you need it more than me. let me know k.
Dear my Wallet,
I am sorry to have left you unattended in the library yesterday. I have not stop looking for you till today. My friends Ivy and Chun Feng have been helping me to search through the dustbins nearby and I went back to the crime scene and the security department today to see if anyone found you elsewhere. Yet, it's just another disappointment that I don't want to bear with. I miss you a lot. I guess you have not eaten anything the whole day. Did they handle you with care? Did they provide you a shelter at least? Bro messaged me earlier that an uncle found you at the Bukit Bintang roadside and have sent you all the way back to my house. Do you know that I was so excited that I eventually rushed all the way back home to see you? Gosh...that stupid thief must have molested you. Your friends 70++ bank notes, 5o cents, 20 cents, Touch N'Go, and Skin Food Loyalty Card all got kidnapped. Why took my Skin Food Loyalty Card btw? That also she wants? Stupid him or her abandoned you with MyKad, Student ID, Body Shop Member Card, ATM card, Popular Card and 10 cents at the Bukit Bintang roadside. How dare he or she do that to you? What if you get ran over by a car/a bus/a truck? I am real glad that you are back to my side finally. That uncle who sent you back, don't you think that he is very lovely and kind? Do you think that you can recognize him the next time you see him? I wanna say thank you and give him a little rewards at least. I hope that you won't get angry with me anymore. I have gave you nice shower and feed you with lotsa love. I promise that I won't leave you unattended anymore. Promise. Hugs.
Dear my Phone and Pendrive,
I am sorry to have left you unattended in the library yesterday as well. What have the thief did to you guys? Have they sell you to any disgust fellow? Did they molest you or anything? I seriously hope that they won't recycle you guys. Omg. I want to get you guys back to my side now. Please tell me where are you now...
Dear Sharon,
Thanks for your offer but I think you should keep it to yourself. Or rather I want you to keep it to yourself. There's no such thing as I need it more than you. That's your opportunity and you should grab it yourself. Just like how I tell you in MSN. Hugs.

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written @10:55 PM 0 comments


I don't know how to stop

Emailed a lecturer whom I trust the most earlier.
Within 5 minutes I got his reply.
Yet that's an automatic reply.
He is away.
Learned helplessness is more than what you read from the definition itself.
Trust me.

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written @1:35 AM 0 comments


to grab and to hold
Thursday, February 12, 2009

I would like to thank all who has been concerned about my condition today.
Thank Ivy, Sharon and Chun Feng for their company and helping me out with everything... canceling ATM card, searching through the dustbins, making the police report, renew my student ID, and buying me lunch. I really don't know what to do without you guys.
Thank Ivy again for borrowing me money to renew my ID, to pay for the police report, and more than enough for me to go home.
Thank Sharon again for fetching me all the way back to LRT station.
Thank Mom, Dad for helping me to cancel my SIM card and keep me safe at home.
Thank Bro for offering me his old phone and his extra SIM card for the time being.
Thank Sis for offering me to take and use her phone for the time being.
Thank Ai Li for the attempt to help by calling the center to cancel my SIM card and also her big warm hug.
Thank Betsy for her big warm hug as well.
Thanks Boon Woei, Michael etc for your concerns.
I am fine.
At least I think I am fine.
I don't know how to describe my feelings.
Perhaps this word best describe it all - Lost.
Something that links to my self-concept is gone.
You don't know who grab them away.
You don't know where they gone.
Worst of all, your soul went with them.
I have been working very hard in dealing with my emotions these days.
I tried my best not to let my emotions overwhelm me again.
I tried my best not to spread the gloom around.
I tried my very best not to lock myself in the house and meet up with people at least. I joined CNY visitation, I planned and organized Boon Woei's birthday, I planned for Adelia's farewell, I went and find Ivy during her break and have lunch with her, most of all I make myself to attend lectures everyday.
I even tried my very best to blog something neutral and not so emo-ish.
I have been suppressing it so hard, thinking about happy thoughts constantly, trying my best to adapt to the constant changes around me recently, made appointment with the counseling center, and this is what I got in the end of the day.
They took my belongings without my consent. They have me to pay for the consequences. They made me live differently. I have enough to adapt in my life de. Why must they add on another burden on me? Do they know that I hate changes? Do they know that I hate long queues? Do they know how troublesome it is to have lost all my documents? Do they know how important those contacts are to me? Do they know that my parents and friends have been so busy the whole day dealing with my stuffs? They don't know. That's why they grab them away from me.
I am glad that I have my friends and family with me. I am sure that I will continue stoning if I don't have them with me. I just don't want to lose anyone of them. Please don't grab them away from me.
Dear my readers, I am sorry for posting another emo post for the entire year. It's okay that you leave because I don't want to make your life any miserable than that. It's not the end of the world yet. It's just that Mandy is sick. She needs some spaces to express her thoughts before before she gets burnout and before she gets to meet her counselor . If you know her in real life, just turn away from her if that makes you happier. She can't make everyone around her to be happy for the moment being. If you can't stand her then leave her alone, she is fine with that. Thank you.

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written @11:48 PM 0 comments


reminiscing is the word.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.


I wasn't a kawaii child when I was young. Btw, that was my pyjamas :D
the typical round face, mushroom hair :D
Siblings & Cousins. I think you still can recognize me here...
Mandy act cool :D
If you do realize, my features never change from young till now. People still can recognize my roti canai face even when they didn't see me for years. I shall be thankful for that? Gosh... I feel old...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On a very different note, a guy handed me something funny while I passed by the usual huge crowds in front of KPD block A today. He is alike the Phantom of Opera, appeared from no where and dissappeared within seconds. I can't even see his face. All I remember was the strawberry stick he was holding in his mouth. Have fun reading :)

What has the world become?

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written @11:21 PM 0 comments


Sunday, February 8, 2009

The light turns green today... whee!!!
No more red light signals :D

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written @3:24 PM 0 comments


Saturday, February 7, 2009

The reality tells me that I am now officially a 3rd Year Student. I got my undergraduate thesis topic just yesterday. Meeting my appointed supervisor is superb cool. I just didn't expect it to happen so fast.
The other side of me tells me that I am not Mandy anymore. I look into the mirror and I can't recognize myself anymore. I started to get irritated easily. I have lost my appetite. I hate diarrhea. I hate insomnia. I hate the consequences of it.
The Mom has me to stay indoor today. I didn't argue with her but I have been giving her a silent treatment till the Dad came home. I seriously can't recognize myself anymore. I am sure the Mom feels sad so as I. I can't control but to let my emotions overwhelm me again. I feel terrible.

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written @11:50 PM 0 comments


a black day
Tuesday, February 3, 2009

no electricity for the first 30 minutes of exam.
feel cheated by the exam paper.
LRT reported traffic jam. In Malaysia!
diarrhea. migraine.
stupid MSN failed me big time.
is like for more than 10 mins no one on msn reply you.. that feeling is entirely terrible.

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written @11:49 PM 0 comments


why not me but you
Monday, February 2, 2009

"When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay. When you want me, but do not need me, then I have to go" (Nanny McPhee, 2005).
Sometimes I wonder, why can't I create such a perfect phrase in life. Something like above is so touching, and almost everyone is using it in their life. Yet someone like me will only create something like this *click here*, which I doubt it creates any meaning to anyone.
Nah. I am just being random here... not emoing because I don't even have time to do so.
I think you don't mind another random question.
Just out of curiosity, What do you like in me?
*back to study memorizing

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written @11:41 PM 2 comments



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