Tomorrow's test is something that make me feel kiasu... I have no clue how to study this subject!

Everyone meet Shecky, my second Christmas present; from Ivy and Boon Ching. Thank you so much. Love him lots. Somehow he reminds me of Tucker and Tinkerbell. Miss you guys <3

爱是可以重来

爱是可以被期待的

Things to complete this December:

1. Exams (10th, 11th, 15th)

2. Christmas shopping with the girls

3. Movie treat for the sister

4. Bro's birthday on Christmas Eve

5. Sing k with the guys

6. Yumcha

7. Annual Ball (21st)

8. Housekeeping

You sang continuously for 24 minutes. :)

I believe love happens for a reason. I know what am I doing and what am I going through.

I just want to remember today.

I have exceeded my movie quota for the week-month-year.

Time Traveler's Wife

A romance film starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. The husband is a time traveler who keeps shifting his lifespan back and forth without control. His travels always force them apart with no warnings and this makes their marriage hard to sustain. The wife, believing her husband as her true love, tries her best to build a life with him. It's a very sensual and touching film I would say. Distance relationships and miscommunication, so much hard work is needed to sustain. Patience, endurance, and love... these make me ponder...

2012

A disaster film starring John Cusack, Chiwatel Ejiofor, Amande Peet etc. I find Chiwatel Ejiofor very good looking. I find this film a grand production. It is very grand, very impressive inside the cinema; but not after we walk out... We still live our life as usual, taking it as it's just year 2009 now... perhaps if you think a little bit more, gain a little more insights... You will know when to treasure the people you love the most before it's too late. You will know how important a family is. You know money is not everything and of course you will know when to trust politicians better.

An action film starring Scott Adkins, Tsuyoshi Ihara and Mika Hijii. The film is about a guy named Casey played by Scott Adkins, who was asked by his Sensai to protect the legendary Yoroi Bitsu, which contains weapons used by last Koga Ninja. The film started with a quick overview about the history of Ninja and the beautiful art of their "kata". What is so artistic and beautiful about the film is the Ninja costume, the scenes take place and the angles shot. What is awful is those blood that splashed like tap water. If I were to bleed like this, I would've die faster.


A film adapted from Charles Dickens' story, starring Jim Carrey in multiple roles. I would say Jim Carrey is awesome. While someone who has expected it to be a comedy ended up complaining it being a bored film, I personally like the film. The main character Ebenezer Scrooge is cold-hearted, greedy and evil. His past shapes the present him. Three spirits, the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come; therefore haunts him to repent. Unlike Ebenezer who has the spirits to lead him around to explore his past, his present, and show him the predicted future if he doesn't do something to repay his sins; we at most time are alone for this. If we don't face our ugly past, alike Ebenezer who requested the ghosts to take him away; we won't be able to move on. It takes courage and it's an enduring process to be. Stay strong and always look for support when necessary. Only with that we are able to live a better tomorrow.

会变得贪心

I am super tired today and I feel empty inside. It's like last time, after rushing all the assignment deadlines.. that's how I felt. I hate myself functioning like a Turbo. An exhaust Turbo. It didn't happen for I/O and LD... I thought I become stronger de. but this time.. I don't get it.. I didn't have any deadlines at all..

Anyone willing to take me for a ride now?

Mandy likes it when someone takes her away, away from the massive workloads; takes her for a ride, grants her a sweet escape; treats her lunch, treats her movie...

People who are liked will always get the priority

Smile :-)

@3.17pm: Mandy checked emails. She has full energy to start proofreading and analysing now... 5 deadlines to meet as for now :)

efficiency?

quality?

quantity?

knowledgeability?

externalities?

directness?

boldness?

agreeableness?

emotionality?

attitude?

I keep receiving positive compliments these days and I am afraid of accepting them :(

Friends who know me were afraid that I get stressed out again. I hold plenty of black records for that. I knew time was what I didn't have enough over the past few days. I knew people were squeezing my brain juice. I knew that I was playing the role of a walking library & a spss bible for weeks. I knew despite I know how to work beyond standards I couldn't utilize the people to work beyond their limits. I didn't feel helpless. I just feel that I didn't help enough. Hence explain the reason why I didn't ask for help.

I was awake for 50 over hours. I didn't expect it to be so long though because this time round is my menstrual period as well. When I done the work first thing that came to my mind was food. Then only followed by bed. I woke up at 3 the next day nothing came to my mind. I looked into the mirror for the first time after 3 days. I see no pimples on an extremely pale face. Good indicator of no stress :)

The year is coming to an end. It is a significant year after all. Love walk out without realize. It is an unexpected outcome and I am happy. If I were to measure this using a cost-benefit analysis, will the benefit exceeds the costs paid? The costs are definitely the time, counselling, medical fees etc.

This is definitely a walk to remember. These are I/O related files trashed into recycle bins within 2 hours time. Look at the number (bottom left).

Yesterday was Chun Feng's birthday. I would like to thank him for organizing a party. I got an "excuse" to relax and to escape from work. I love the happy, fun, entertaining moments. Even eating was such a pleasure activity to be. I love the food, the companies, and I think Chun Feng did enjoy himself too. Happy Belated Birthday Chun Feng :)

Perhaps it's the carry over effect of yesterday's, I want more sweet escapes as for now. I went home directly after pilot testing AND sleep. I woke up remembering I skipped lunch. That reminds me of earlier how someone offered me lunch and turned the topic off easily within a short period of time. It's amazing.

I need help. I need door guards for my last pilot test tomorrow. My phone is going to be barred tomorrow. I forgot to reload my phone. I can't call for SOS tomorrow. Can someone just spare me some attention? while I already spare so much time helping each other.

3 days ago, it was 11 something when I was told by the Bro that Tucker flipped over. The moment I picked him up, he wasn't moving. I thought it was a trick. It wasn't the first time Tucker acted "dead" on my palm. The biggest record he made was that he acted "dead", waited till I shifted attention he jumped up from my palm to the floor. I was standing and undoubtedly he did give me a big heart attack. This time round, I hold him in my palm and lean my arms towards the basin. I tickled him. No response. I mildly pushed his hands and legs to the opposite direction, flipped back. I sprinkled water on him. No response. The eyes remain closed. No response. Nothing. I decided to put him in the basin. "He might move then," I whispered. No response at all. Not moving. Not opening his eyes. Not stretching his hands and legs. Not breathing. It is exactly the same as Tinkerbell.

I put back Tucker on my palm. I don't remember how long did I spend looking at him. I then put him on the basin and went to shower, hoping that he will get activated when I come back. That didn't happen. Tucker remained there, the exact same position as before, quietly. That is not my Tucker. Tucker is an active brat. He will kick me when I hold him up. He will crawl frontwards and backwards when I put him down. He will bite when I give him a tupperware. He will hide under whichever vege I gave him. He will mash all the pellets I feed him.... He just won't stay at the same position quietly.

I started to conclude that Tucker is dead. Sharon is the first person I told. Lovely her went and find information online so that I didn't justify wrongly. But Tucker already died. Ivy was the next person I called. She has the right to know about Tucker's death. The other reason I called her was that I wanted to quickly get my emotions adjust and concentrate on the huge pile of work. Thanks to her I managed to put Tucker back to his house and continue my work, my experiment, my internship, and finally birthday celebration with Betsy.

Yea. I soaked Tucker in the water for the first day. I broke down in the end of the day. It started from a broken promise to a replaced SPSS CD plastic cover but in fact it was Tucker that evoked those negative emotions. I didn't cry when Tinkerbell passed away. Perhaps it was because Tinkerbell was sick while Tucker had recovered. Yet, Tucker didn't eat since the night spent together with Tinkerbell. Until the day before he died. That wasn't volunteering eating but it was me who mashed the pellet in a tupperware with water and forced Tucker to consume it. I spent an hour feeding him. The process was satisfying because I witnessed Tucker consumed some food at least. But I no longer get the chance to do it for the second time. I managed to help Tucker flips his body back over the past few days and the last time I helped him was the morning when my Mom screamed at me that Tucker flipped over again. I remember vividly that I did jump off from my bed to get Tucker no matter how sleepy I was. But I wasn't able to save him in the night.

Yesterday, I have finally decided to bury Tucker. Yea. I soaked him in the water for two days. I did the same to Tinkerbell too. Anyhow, I didn't bury Tucker in the end of the day. I blamed it on the weather. It was burning hot in the noon thus I went to take a nap. My cat nap became dog sleep. When I woke up it was raining heavily until late night. Hence, I wrapped Tucker with newspaper and rest it on top of his house for another night. I spent my whole night with him. Yea. three days.

Woke up in the morning today, I continued my work until lunch time. I took a break and had my lunch. Finally, I have decided to bury Tucker for real. It is still a burning hot afternoon like yesterday but I don't care anymore. I didn't bury Tinkerbell but let the Dad do me the honour instead. This time I have decided to face the death of my very own pet. Despite how much I hate digging the soil under the burning hot sun, I have to do it. Despite how much I don't want Tucker to lie underneath the soil, it is better than flushing him down the toilet or trash him in a garbage car. Tucker is dead and though my garden might not be the best place to stay, it is definitely a place where he can rest in peace.

The life span of my pets is very short. Tinkerbell survived 5 days and Tucker survived 29 days. You can laugh all you want and I am totally fine with it. It's time for me to self-reflect the reason why I can't take good care of a pet.

Just in case you think that I am emo-ing, I need to clarify that I am not. I am able to pen it down means that I am already over it.

I just realize it is a very long post, if you are still reading this, I appreciate your patience. Smile :-)

Happy Birthday Betsy Yeo <3

Smile :)

If you look at the time of this post being published, it is a morning. I personally think that it is an achievement for an owl like me. I am in college now, is camping in level 4 and is doing work. I slept at 10.30pm yesterday because I self-declared a "don't feel like doing anything day" and also I was emotionally tired. I woke up this morning and I don't see dark circles. It's a miracle and it makes me feel good. I think it's a reward for sleeping early.

It's a new day Mandy, rather than just Friday. I am gonna face it again later. I don't know whether I will deal with it better or worse, but I won't make myself fall again; not the deep hole at least. That is a promise to myself.

-end of monologue-

1. You are walking to your boy/girlfriend's house. There are two roads to get there. One is a straight path to take you there quickly, but is very plain and boring. The other is significantly longer but is full of wonderful sights and interesting things. Which one do you take to get to your significant other's house, short or long?

The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. If you take the short road, you fall in love quickly and easily. If you take the long road, you take your time and do not fall in love as easily.

2. On the way you see 2 rose bushes, One is full of red roses, the other full of white. You decide to pick 20 roses for your boy/girlfriend, of any color combination. What number of white and red do you pick? (you can pick all of one or any combination of the two)

The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. For example, if you chose 18 red and 2 white, you give 90 and expect 10 return.

3.You finally get to the house. A family member answers the doors. You can have them get your boy/girlfriend or go get them yourself. Which do you do?

This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. If you asked the family member to get your significant other, then you like to avoid problems and hope that they will solve themselves. If you went to get them yourself, then you are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately.

4. You go up to your boy/girlfriend's room, but nobody is there. You decide to leave the roses. Do you leave them by the windowsill or on the bed?

The placement of roses determines how much you like to see your boy/girlfriend. Placing them on the bed means you like to see them a lot, while placing them on the windowsill means that you are alright with not seeing them as much.

5. Later, it's time for bed, You and your boy/girlfriend go to sleep in separate rooms. In the morning when it's time to wake up you go in his/her room and check on him/her. When you arrive, is he/she awake or asleep?

This representative of your attitude towards their personality. If you find him/her asleep, you love your boy/girlfriend the way he/she is. If you find him/her awake, you expect him/her to change for you.

6. Now it's time to go back home. Do you take the short, plain road or the longer, more interesting road?

~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~

I chose the longer path (Before: the longer path as well)

I miss Tinkerbell.

I am seeking deadlines.

Nov 13 PSY316 15 pages report due

PSY302 xxx pages proposal due

Nov 17 PSY110b Personal Integrative Career Report due

Tucker hasn't been eating since he was sick. It has been two weeks. I am now at the stage where people say what is good for Tucker and I will get for him.

ehem. That's my car. My Tucker's food.

Happy Birthday Kevin Saw!

You owe me lotsa things. Deep talk sessions, berbonding-bonding sessions, nice lunch/ dinner together, and car rides. I miss you :(

My intention is as pure as water. Just so you know. :P

"I like your emphasis on..."

12 Oct was my birthday.

Symptoms: *click*

1) swollen eyes

2) open mouth breathing /gasping for breath

3) has stopped eating

4) bulging out of the shell

5) lethargic

How? How? How? HELP!!!